Be Someone You Care About

There are days I treat myself like a second thought. I push through my exhaustion like it’s proof of my strength. I dismiss my needs with a light joke. I scroll until my eyes sting, then doubt myself through my FOMO. I fear my own body, prefer anxiety over joy, dread responding to texts, and call it “self-control” or “being chill” when really I am trying to escape myself.

Somewhere along the way, I learned how to show up for other people. To check in, remember birthdays, send “let me know if you need anything” texts and mean it. I genuinely care – just not always for myself.

But here’s what I’m learning (slowly and awkwardly):

It’s not enough to just be someone.

You have to be someone you care about.

Not in a trivial, “treat yourself” kind of way (although that can be valuable too). But in a real, reliable, honest way. The way you would care for a friend who is quietly unraveling. The way you would talk to someone you actually like.

Ask yourself how you’re really doing, and actually wait for the answer.

Ask, but don’t interrogate.

You don’t have to be your best self all the time. But you should be your softest witness. And your most cherished place to land.

So today, I am practicing.

Caring for me like I would someone I love.

And trying to become someone I don’t regularly abandon.