The Best Student One Liners (That Deserve Extra Credit)

Let’s be absolutely real here: my students are outright comedians in my classroom. Whether they are delivering a witty comeback, a wildly dramatic complaint, or just educating me on the pop culture lingo that I am way too old to understand at 22, these one-liners should reside in a Hall of Fame (or at least a group chat).

Here are some of the best student one-liners I have actually heard in my classroom (yes, these are real…)

• “Is this gonna be on the test?” — a true classic, asked during every new lesson. Followed by:
• “We never learned this!” — Yes, we did, besties!
• “They say good things take time, that’s why all my assignments are late.” — A flawless yearbook quote.
• “Why would I try any harder if a 70 is passing.” — As Chappell Roan said, Good Luck, Babe.
• “I’m really asleep” — Said angrily after being accused of fake sleeping.
• “If you had a Tiktok, you look like you wouldn’t repost anything.” — I do, in fact, have a Tiktok. And I do, in fact, repost just about everything.
• And finally: “I’m gonna start calling Ms. Dugan the Rising Action because she’s always tryna start a conflict.” Bravo, at least we’re learning literary terms.

There’s something so genius about the way students turn stress, confusion, and chaos into punchlines.

Whether you are grading papers at 11:59pm or submitting them, one thing is for sure: humor may just be the only thing keeping us all going.

Got any memorable student one-liners? Comment them below — we all need a good laugh this summer!